Al Qaeda might be at work again

I received the latest top-secret classified intelligence on the Al Qaeda movement, even beating the CIA and MI5 geeks.

I heard that they will be using the latest technology in terrorist attacks. Like their style of blowing up places, they will be using the most unconventional techniques in planning sneak attacks on other people.

There is cause to be alarmed due to the huge devastation that these unconventional "weapons" might bring. The date of attacks have not yet been discovered, but most importantly the modes of attack which Al Qaeda is going to use have been dug up by my people. Hiak hiak.

Here are what my spies have uncovered.

Terrorist tortoise. Always waiting for a chance to use its cannon.

Suicide bomber chick. All that dynamite gonna blow you to bits. I wonder how it's gonna use its rifle though.

They even teach the squirrels to launch rockets. Without the launchers, just using their strength. Which brings us to ...

Muscled squirrels.

Sniper squirrels. These are the most elite silent killers. They can get up on any tree and start to kill you, one by one. And you thought squirrels were cute.

Smoking Aussie kangaroos. They pack a punch even without the weapons of mass destruction. Blasting commando hamsters with GPMGs! Holy Moly! Protected against tear gas as well. Who dares to stop them?

And meet the chick who's the gangleader of 'em all. He sure looks like he means business.

Give it up, Bush. You ain't gonna win against these enemies. They're small, they're strong and they've got better brains than you do.

P.S.: I just had to add this for people with no sense of humour. Maybe you think it's dark humour or something. OK look, this is meant to be taken tongue-in-cheek, and if you don't know what that means, just go take an English course or something. COME ON MAN! LAUGH!